jaclcfrost:

[finds the most sarcastic asshole in the series] my love

(via crunchier)

pruderanch:

200% sure that all of my friend have secret meetings where they just talk about how annoying I am

(Source: religiousmom, via distraction)

relahvant:

relahvant:

that feeling you get when you’re happy

image

oh… yeah that one haha

(via orgasm)

youaremynirvana:

hoelita:

female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away

same

(Source: babefield, via wearesickofthisshit)

glowcloud:

I have to say the Kim k app was an amazing business idea and I feel like it has already done wonders for her brand. Now I see pictures of Kim kardashian and I think “that’s my extremely generous friend Kim she really got my modeling career off the ground”

(via nevernnind)

"Just tell me how you fucking feel."
9 hours ago

greelin:

cyberuser:

i remember when i was 5 i used to take dancing lessons and there was this kid in 7th grade who’d make fun of me and call me “gay” but the jokes on him because i gave his younger cousin a handjob at camp so who’s gay now

i think you’re still technically gay

(Source: 1vm, via troyesivan)

voldemortcanyounot:

thebabbagepatch:

fearofpop:

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

you’ve got to be kidding me

I am in physical pain

(via yourviolentlackofvirtue)

cacneas:

tumblr island would be the farthest thing from a judgment free environment and would probably be the cause of a couple dozen murders and an unintentional reenactment of lord of the flies

(via crunchier)

rumour:

*logs in to tumblr*image

(via crunchier)

fragileclara:

greybies:

who even came up with the word motherfucker in the first place?

oedipus

(Source: alanblooms, via pizza)